Wedding Officiant's Blog

Wedding Rehearsal Considerations

5/23/2018

To Rehearse or Not Rehearse.
Here are the answers to that question.

Not every wedding requires a wedding rehearsal.
If you are planning on a casual and relaxed ceremony, then a rehearsal isn't really necessary.

A good rule of thumb is...if you are having no more than one or two wedding attendants each, with one flower girl and perhaps a ring bearer, and you have decided on a simple ceremony...it's likely that you'll not need a rehearsal and you'll be able to manage it on your own with a few tips from your Wedding Minister.

That said...if you plan on having more attendants than mentioned above... a wedding rehearsal will be necessary to insure everything goes smoothly and beautifully during your ceremony.
If you aren't sure...always speak with your Wedding Officiant...he/she will be able to help you with that decision and offer available insight and advice.

A wedding rehearsal is based on the degree of ceremony formality.

The benefits of having a wedding rehearsal, aside from the obvious...it's a time to help you and your wedding party get comfortable with the timing and order of the ceremony proceedings before the big day.
Keep the rehearsal dinner to follow a casual, lighthearted affair, giving everyone a chance to catch their breath and get antiquated.

Wedding rehearsals are typically one hour and you'll need every moment of it to cover all the details and ceremony choreography. To void overtime charges from your wedding officiant, it's a good practice to avoid drinking prior to the rehearsal.

Being alert and attentive during the rehearsal helps everyone involved in the ceremony to feel less nervous on the day of the ceremony. In most cases two walk throughs are recommended to insure everyone is comfortable and confident with the ceremony proceedings. Everyone will know where to be and when. Also, the rehearsal is a good time to hand out lists of duties to the attendants of the ceremony.

During the rehearsal, your Minister/Officiant will go over many details.
Such as where to stand and what to do during the ceremony, where and how to enter and exit and how to pose for the best presentation of your ceremony.

Part of the rehearsal will address ( the processional ) entering and ( the recessional ) exiting, it's is a mixture of timing and graceful art form. Like learning to dance well, it's about the steps, timing and execution that makes a beautiful presentation.
If you plan on having live musicians for the ceremony, they should attend the rehearsal too, so you and your attendants will be able to recognize the musical cues throughout the ceremony.

Your Officiant / Minister will always insist on personally conducting rehearsal and arranging the ceremony proceedings from Processional to Recessional.

TIP: At times, inexperienced Wedding Planners may offer, as part of their services, to conduct the wedding rehearsal and conduct the ceremony proceedings.
** An experienced and professional planner will not. **
To clear the confusion...the purpose and function of a Wedding Planner is to coordinate all things to do with preparation prior to the ceremony and after the ceremony, not the rehearsal or ceremony proceedings itself.
When in question, always ask your Officiant for clarification on such matters.

DIY Rehearsal for the Casual and Relaxed Ceremony

Some weddings are simple enough as to not require an official rehearsal. In this case see the guide below to get an idea of how a wedding lineup generally goes. Yours may vary depending on many factors. The key is to make the proceedings comfortable and relaxed with a natural flow. Most of today's wedding are casual and relaxed where the processional and recessional are concerned is concerned. With that said, if you are planning on having more than two people each standing with you at the altar, then the guide will be a good rule of thumb to guide you diy rehearsal.

There are never any two wedding ceremonies alike.

Just as there are no two couples alike, there are no two weddings alike.
There are always variations depending on the venue selection, available amenities, indoor vs.outdoor ceremonies, the time of year, the time of year, the level of formality and of course the personal style of the To Be Wed Couple...just to name a few. There are many factors the Officiant will take into account when contemplating the presentation of your wedding ceremony.
However, to give you a little insight as to how a wedding rehearsal and ceremony might be conducted, here's a basic sample to consider.

The standard processional line is formed in order of appearance, which will be:

Bridesmaids
Maid of honor
Ring bearer and flower girl
Bride and father

The timing of each person’s entrance and the pace of the walk will be determined during the rehearsal. Timing is usually established by the distance between each person, and also by the music. Timing is especially important if you want to make the most of ceremony photo opportunities during the processional.

TIP ** The one of the many benefits of selecting an experienced and skilled Wedding Officiant is they will be able to anticipate and adjust effortlessly to any unforeseen seen factors that may arise in the moment without skipping a beat.

When the bride enters the room, she should walk on her father’s / escort's right, or on the right side. When she arrives at the altar, her father / escort will give her hand to the groom. The officiant will address the father / escort, "Who gives this woman." During the rehearsal, we will go into much more detail and teach you what to say and do. The maid of honor will move forward to take the bride's flowers and return to her position.

Vows that require a response from the bride and groom will be cued and guided by the wedding officiant-- that way neither the bride nor the groom will miss their cue during the ceremony. Going through these cues will definitely calm all the participants down a little on the day of the wedding, All can confidently enter the room, take their places, and execute their responsibilities with ease and grace.

The rehearsal dinner is a great time to hand out printed lists of duties for the attendants. They need to know what is expected of them, and when they are “on call.” Here are sample lists of the common duties for traditional attendants. Obviously, if the best man is a woman, she will not help the groom dress, so adjust the duties to accommodate your wedding party

The Best Man Duties...the team leader

The Best Man is seen as the team leader of all things to do with the men in the wedding party.
The Groomsmen are the team players...the offer support and assistance to the Groom and the wedding.

Help the groom dress
Get the clergy person fee in a plain envelope from the groom and deliver it to clergy person on the day of the wedding
Remind the groom of the marriage license, airline tickets, luggage, traveling clothes, etc..
Sign the marriage license as a witness
Keep the groom calm
Carry the ring in a coat pocket
Take the groom’s gloves during the ceremony, if he has any
Offer the first toast at the rehearsal dinner and the reception
Hide the going-away car
Help the bride and groom escape after the reception
Return the groom’s clothes to his house or the rental store

Maid or Matron of Honor Duties...the team leader

The Maid or Matron of Honor is seen as the team leader with all things to do with the women in the wedding party.
The Bride's Maids are the team players...the offer support and assistance to the Bride and the wedding.

Sign the marriage license as a witness
Help the bride dress prior to the ceremony, help the bride with her gloves, train, veil, flowers, etc. during the ceremony
Hold the groom’s wedding band until it is requested

Usher's Duties...the team players

Ushers are responsible for:

Lighting the aisle candelabra 15 minutes before the ceremony
Seating guests
Taking down pew ribbons as the pews are needed
Putting the aisle runner in position and removing it after the ceremony
Participating in the processional and recessional
Escorting the bride’s and groom’s parents out, then dismissing one aisle at a time after the ceremony
Dancing with the bride and bridesmaids
Bridesmaids
Help the bride with errands
Participate in the processional and recessional
Greet guests in the receiving line

As with any other rehearsal, all the participants should pay close attention to their directions. Working all the kinks out during the rehearsal will make your wedding ceremony proceed smoothly and beautifully.
See You at the Altar,
Rev. Allie

Meet The Wedding Ministers

Chapel Weddings

Officiant Services

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A Detailed Reality Check on Today's Wedding Planning Expectations. A Cause To Think Before Your I Do's!

9/16/2017

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Wichita Wedding Officiant Tips...

Holy Whoa! Today's Bridal Magazines, Wedding Directories and Websites paint a beautiful picture of the trendy, hip and lavish weddings all coming together without a hitch...it all looks so wonderful, just like magic...right!? Well, maybe...when pigs fly!

There can be no question that there are very skillful marketing techniques in play within these media forums and niches. Or as I like to term it...Wedding Planning Propaganda Machine Outlets for
Big Bottom Line Gains by Multinational Corporations.

All this media magic does not honestly depict real life weddings in most cases. The exception would be those that have money to burn. And if you not one of those...then this wedding wisdom tip is for you.

Take heart, in a practical real world sense... it's all an illusion and hardly applicable for most young couples...or for that matter...any couple on a real life budget planning on a real life wedding!

As a minister that performs weddings and has provided premarital guidance counseling for many years. I have an abundance of first hand wedding wisdom, deeper insights and a greater knowledge as to what works well and what doesn't. Not only in just whatever pertains to the wedding planning activities, but even more importantly, how these events and decisions profoundly affect relationships of all involved. At times, creating unfortunate results.

As such, the best advise I can offer to any bride and groom to be is this. If you are planning on getting married...then it's time for a much needed reality check!

Most couples blindly dive right in to planning their wedding without due consideration to the greater outcome. This is not at all surprising, as it's not like you get married everyday...is it?

So then...Lets' begin with assessing the financial costs...then we will move on to assessing the mental and emotion costs involved in the planning a wedding.

Some basics..Selecting your wedding party.
What every responsible bride and groom to be should consider before asking friends and family to be a part of your wedding is as follows.

First and foremost...if you truly value these friendships and relations and wish to maintain them beyond your wedding day...you would be well advised to first calculate the expected expenses that will be put upon them for the privilege of being involved in your wedding.

Unfortunately, this is a courtesy that is rarely entertained or extended...yet, it is most essential when contemplating who will be in your wedding party and/or involved in the bridal shower and such.

Stop to consider the Duties, Responsibilities and the Financial Obligations before extending the invitation.
Here are a few excellent articles I'd like to share with my readers...

The High-Cost of Being a Bridesmaid and What To Do About It

Bridesmaid Etiquette My Role and Duties for her Big Day

Who Pays for What at a Wedding

Top Tips to Choosing Your Wedding Party

Of course, it goes without saying, that these same considerations apply to the groom's end of things as well. In short...when planning your wedding...the to be wed couples should also take into account everyone's personal budgets as well.

Now you see, it can be, however unintentional on your part, a very awkward and perhaps embarrassing chain of events springing forth that you could easily avoid with a bit of foresight.

The next thing I would like to touch on is this little exercise.

If neither of you had ever seen a wedding magazine etc. before...What would your wedding look like?

You are likely a little stumped...that's good and indeed the whole point. Now...Pick a quite place and contemplate this...separately.

Once you have taken enough personal space and time to fully develop your independent visions of what your wedding would look like...then come together and share your visions with each other.

Don't rush the process and your are encouraged to color outside of the lines as needed to discover what the two of you will create together for yourselves.

After shedding a bit of light on the topics above, here are some viable alternatives for your consideration ...

Have a Lovely, Affordable, Spirit Filled Chapel Wedding...
Less the Stress!

Go to Our Wedding Blog for Loads of Great Local Wedding Ideas.

More Wedding Ideas...

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Wedding Officiant, How to Choose the One that's Right for You.

8/29/2017

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Key Points for Choosing Your Wedding Officiant

If you don't have a home church, don't attend services regularly or, for that matter at all, then sorting through all the wedding officiant directories can feel a little overwhelming.

Here are a few tips on the key points to take into consideration when searching for the wedding officiant that's right for you.

The basics...

It will put your mind at ease to know, that...it is very rare indeed that you'll run across a wedding officiant that truly sucks.
Even if you were blind folded and throwing darts at a wedding officiant list as a means of selection, you'd likely be just fine, no matter where the dart landed.

The truth is, most officiants are very professional and strive intently to meet their clients ceremony desires and needs. What greatly behooves the wedding couple to understand, is that...the officiant search is really much more about finding the right wedding officiant for who you are as a couple.

That's all together a horse of a different color. That said, let's break it down into manageable steps toward finding the wedding officiant that's right for your wedding and who you are as a couple.

The search is on...

Let's begin by marginalizing and minimizing the most common overwhelm factors.

First do a quick online search...this will take you to several national directories. Directories are helpful in locating wedding officiants in your general area.

With a quick examination of the local wedding officiant "directory profiles" will give you a quick overall feel for the officiants in your area. Pick at least three that stand out to you.

Now here's the important part...begin "visiting their websites", don't just stop at the local directories profiles and try to select. Profiles are just snap shot presentations, not anywhere near the whole picture...delve deeper.

Too often brides rush through this process. It's important to take the time to visit the officiant's sites, get a feel for who they are and what they are about through their actual websites. The websites will speak volumes about the officiant and many provide helpful tips, ideas and links specific to your area, as well as trusted vendors they have worked with throughout the years....this is a bonus!

Take your time and engage

After viewing the officiant's website, pick three that most appeal to you. Now that you have made the preliminary selections, make appointments with your chosen wedding officiants to speak with each one. Most officiants offer a free phone consultation for inquiring couples. Now...here's important part!

Don't make the mistake of rushing through this process.
Engage in a real conversation, actually talk with the three officiants you have selected, and don't be afraid to share details about how you envision your wedding ceremony, and if you aren't sure..."cause it's not like you get married everyday, is it?" ...then ask each officiant for their suggestions. Be sure to take note of not only their suggestions, but more importantly, how you felt during the conversation.

Here's what you'll be looking for during each visit.
I suggest using the 1 to 5 point rating system to help you with the selection process...5 being the highest and most desirable.

Was the conversation flowing and easy, was he or she easy to talk with?

Was the officiant a good listener...did they seem to understand - anticipate your needs?
Did you feel personally comfortable, like you could open up and talk about anything with them about anything, you could connect (be in simpatico) with the officiant?
Did they display a sense of humor and willingness to be flexible concerning your needs and desires?
Did you come away from the conversation feeling good about the interaction you had?
If you can rate the officiant on the high end to all of the above, then you have just found the officiant that's right for you!

Being able to truly connect and relate well with your wedding officiant will make all the difference in the success, overall flow and presentation of your wedding ceremony from start to finish.

The fee should always rate last as a factor in your wedding officiant decision and rating process. Realistically, the wedding officiant will always be the least expensive wedding of all of your vendor fees and the one you should never consider fudging on to save a few dollars.

An experienced and skilled Wedding Officiate can and will influence the mood and feeling of your entire wedding in ways you could not know or fully appreciate.

If you are focused solely on the fee amount, you won't be able to hear and see what they themselves will bring to your wedding ceremony experience.

Instead, focus primarily on the quality of the connection and they way you feel when you communicate with them.
Get in touch with your inner guidance on this one and follow it!

See You At The Altar,
Rev. Allie

Meet The Wedding Ministers

Chapel Weddings

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The Most Significant Moment of Your Wedding is the Marriage Ceremony.

6/8/2017

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Wedding Wisdom from Those Who Know!

Too often, the line between the Marriage Ceremony and Wedding Reception Celebration are blurred and the need for clear division between these two events is not always observed.

As a result, many couples are literally duped out of what should be the grandest and most significant life altering moment they will ever experience in their lifetime.
The moment they become husband and wife, yet, too often, when planning their wedding, the greater focus falls on the wedding reception.
Sadly, most young couples weddings will miss this boat entirely and it won't be sailing back this way....Ever Again!

So why does this occur so frequently? The answer is actually so simple that it's often overlooked. It's allowing yourselves to get caught up in a commercialized attitude that encourages young couples to place their primary focus on the reception event. Think of it in this way, your reception will last a few hours, your marriage is to last a lifetime.

In the end, after all the guests have gone, the bride and groom will be left to their own to look back on their moment of marriage, sometimes with a sense of lack. Recalling the moment of marriage without any real focus or intent, the Ceremony.

When couples view the ceremony as a mere formality rather than the most significant moment of the entire wedding event, they unwittingly cheat themselves. The ceremony is the foundation of your marriage...period!

If your intent is to have a lasting, loving stable marriage...make your Wedding Ceremony the main focus of your wedding day.

Couples placing primary focus on the reception party details over the ceremony should be considered a huge red flag where the future of marriage stability and relationship health is concerned.

In fact, divorce rate statistics show us that couples that glibly gleam over the Ceremony Event are far more likely to divorce than couples that place great importance and self preparation for the Ceremony itself.

Embrace the notion that the purpose of a wedding reception is to celebrate your "the moment of your marriage" with family and friends.

The Way in Which You Marry Matters.

Before the wedding, take the time and effort required to create a strong foundation on which your marriage will be built. This requires conscious and deliberate steps, the first being premarital counseling.

Meet the Wedding Ministers

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Wichita Wedding Officiants

Wedding Rehearsal Considerations

To Rehearse or Not Rehearse.
Here are the answers to that question.

A wedding rehearsal is based on the degree of ceremony formality.

DIY Rehearsal for the Casual and Relaxed Ceremony

There are never any two wedding ceremonies alike.

The Best Man Duties...the team leader

Maid or Matron of Honor Duties...the team leader

Usher's Duties...the team players

A Detailed Reality Check on Today's Wedding Planning Expectations. A Cause To Think Before Your I Do's!

Wichita Wedding Officiant Tips...

The High-Cost of Being a Bridesmaid and What To Do About It

Bridesmaid Etiquette My Role and Duties for her Big Day

Who Pays for What at a Wedding

Top Tips to Choosing Your Wedding Party

After shedding a bit of light on the topics above, here are some viable alternatives for your consideration ...

Wedding Officiant, How to Choose the One that's Right for You.

Key Points for Choosing Your Wedding Officiant

The basics...

The search is on...

Take your time and engage

The Most Significant Moment of Your Wedding is the Marriage Ceremony.

Wedding Wisdom from Those Who Know!

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Wichita Wedding Officiants

To Rehearse or Not Rehearse.Here are the answers to that question.

A wedding rehearsal is based on the degree of ceremony formality.

DIY Rehearsal for the Casual and Relaxed Ceremony

There are never any two wedding ceremonies alike.

The Best Man Duties...the team leader

Maid or Matron of Honor Duties...the team leader

Usher's Duties...the team players

Wichita Wedding Officiant Tips...

Top Tips to Choosing Your Wedding Party

After shedding a bit of light on the topics above, here are some viable alternatives for your consideration ...

Key Points for Choosing Your Wedding Officiant

The basics...

The search is on...

Take your time and engage

Wedding Wisdom from Those Who Know!

Categories

Archives

Chapel Specials By Season

To Rehearse or Not Rehearse.
Here are the answers to that question.