By The Covenant of Marriage MovementA covenant is intended by God to be a lifelong fruitful relationship between a man and a woman. Marriage is a vow to God, to each other, our families and our community to remain steadfast in unconditional love, reconciliation and sexual purity, while purposefully growing in our covenant marriage relationship. A Covenant is not a “Contract”Contract (n) an agreement between two or more parties, especially one that is written and enforceable by law. Contracts are based on protection and mistrust. They allow the parties involved to look for loop holes and exist clauses, and are centered on your rights and protection. In fact, the Bible doesn’t say anything about “contracts” anywhere in scripture! The term “covenant” means “a coming together.” In the Bible, the word covenant is translated in Hebrew over 300 times! The meaning of the Old Testament word is bond; a covenant refers to two or more parties bound together. The New Testament term has usually been translated as covenant, but testimony and testament have also been used. The generally accepted idea of binding or establishing a bond between two parties carries with it the concept of “cleaving,” or sticking together like Super Glue! Yet, covenants were not unique to God and His people. They existed besides the ones God initiated with His people. Covenants existed between families, tribes, clans, and brothers. But God brought a new element to the otherwise common practice of covenant making. God brought the Divine into the ordinary. He became the initiator of a covenant with His people, which reached far beyond the grasp of mankind. Read about the Types of Covenants in the Bible Difference between a Contractual and Covenant Marriage: Contract: I take thee for me. Covenant: I give myself to thee. Contract: You had better do it! Covenant: How may I serve you? Contract: What do I get? Covenant: What can I give? Contract: I’ll meet you halfway. Covenant: I’ll give you 100% plus. Contract: I have to Covenant: I want to A covenant marriage is intended by God to be a lifelong relationship exemplifying unconditional love, reconciliation, sexual purity, and growth. A covenant is an eternal commitment with God. People can negotiate out of contracts, but not out of a covenant. The heart of covenant marriage is “the steadfast love of the Lord,” which comes from the very heart of God and “never ceases” (Lam. 3:22, RSV). What Elements Make up a Covenant Marriage? Covenants are the fruit of a loving, faithful relationship. The vows we exchange at our wedding reflect a relationship already bound by steadfast love and faithfulness. The degree in which these words have meaning comes in direct proportion to the unconditional love that dwells within our heart for the one to whom we are repeating them. Covenant partners take responsibility for their actions. As partners in a covenant marriage relationship, we are responsible for our actions. An example would be to remain “sexually pure” in our thoughts and actions towards our spouse. Covenants are based on freedom of choice. Covenant marriages are not built on coercion, deceit, and manipulation. Wives, submission is freely given and grows from respect, not fear and manipulation. In like manner, husband, choose daily to love your wife “as Christ loved the church.” You must freely choose to love and honor her in spite of the fact that you may not “feel” like loving and honoring her. Covenants are rooted in actions based on choices, not feelings. Our feelings are forever fluctuating. Therefore to build a covenant marriage on feelings is to build it on shifting sand, which cannot support the foundation of marriage. Covenant partners nurture their relationship. Our marriage will grow as we build up one another in love. This takes place when we value our spouse more than ourselves. As we experience the unconditional love of Jesus Christ, we are able to love our spouse as He loves us. Covenant partners administer unconditional love, forgiveness, and reconciliation while providing comfort and hope to their partner. Covenants are based on commitments freely offered. A covenant is built on selfless love, freely given and freely received. As strange as it may sound, a covenant marriage is one in which the “tie that binds” the couple together is a commitment freely offered with no strings attached. Paul said it well: “Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:8). Do you want a Covenant Marriage? God does have a plan for your marriage. He desires to see your love grow and bear fruit. The goal of a covenant marriage is not to merely enjoy each other’s company nor is it to simply endure to the end. The goal of a covenant marriage is to glorify God in your relationship and to exemplify Christ to the world. Covenant of Marriage When considering your wedding ceremony and the purpose of a marriage covenant, taking time to truly contemplate and understand the powerful relevance and creative elements of the spoken words are essential. Words are powerful tools of creation which enables us to bring forward and manifest into the physical world around us our truest heart felt intentions. God said "Let there light" and there was light. Pretty powerful stuff! Words, thoughts, intentions, emotions and marriage covenants are very powerful and tangible. A covenant marriage is intended by God to be a lifelong relationship exemplifying unconditional love, reconciliation, sexual purity, and growth What Elements Make up a Covenant Marriage? Wedding vows are not a declaration of present love but a mutually binding promise of future love. A wedding should not be primarily a celebration of how loving you feel now—that can safely be assumed. Rather, in a wedding you stand up before God, your family and all the main institutions of society, and you promise to be loving, faithful and true to the other person in the future, regardless of undulating internal feelings or external circumstances. It is a covenant. In fact, unconditional covenantal commitment helps romantic love fulfill itself. Learn More... All too often, couple's rush into their wedding planning details with the unfortunate notion that a wedding ceremony is simply a required formality that is undertaken to simply satisfy local, state mandate. Whereas, this is not altogether untrue...the far more important aspects are overlooked. A Covenant is not a “Contract” With this limited understanding, couples adopt a mindset that they will find an officiant at some point in their planning process that will "perform a ceremony" for them. Cool, no big deal, one less thing to deal with...just do the ceremony...then it's off to the big wedding reception bash to celebrate. This is the majority mindset in today's wedding couples. When you really stop to think about it, if you have been to other's weddings...take a moment to recall how it felt as you where watching the wedding ceremony take place. What stood out the most? Was it the decorations, the dress, the tux, the photographer, the music, wedding reception or was it the ceremony? The Way in Which You Marry Matters. If you recall being deeply moved and experienced goosebumps or may be even found yourself tearing up during the ceremony...then you were fortunate enough to witness a genuine heart to heart union of a living marriage covenant...and it was a beautiful thing behold, A covenant is intended by God to be a lifelong fruitful relationship between a man and a woman. Marriage is a vow to God, to each other, our families and our community to remain steadfast in unconditional love, reconciliation and sexual purity, while purposefully growing in our covenant marriage relationship. You'll likely also recall that everyone present was equally as moved...the power of the wedding words, emotions and intentions all came together and spilled over and infused the entire wedding. What is much more important is by understanding the Covenant of marriage Greatly Strengthens Your Marriage. The Covenant Marriage Movement prepares couples for lifelong covenant marriages, strengthens healthy marriages and improves struggling marriages by providing life-changing, Christ-centered resources through personal conferences and Bible study materials along with congregational and online resources. |
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